More Self Care

Personal, Writing

About two years ago, I made a post with my favorite things to do for self care. That post mostly included fun relaxation things. This is part two of that post but with more practical things, for when it’s not so much “treat yourself” but more “I’m living in a dark hell pit and need to find a way to climb out of it.” (What? No, I’m fine. Things are totally fine over here.)

  1. Clean your space: I know it’s not fun and I know you don’t want to do it, but I guarantee that if you do you will feel much better. I clean my whole apartment once a week. I put on a podcast (usually My Favorite Murder) and just fully absorb myself in scrubbing gunk off the walls. Anyone else ever just walked around their house scrubbing every mark off the wall with those magic eraser sponges? If not you should, it’s incredibly therapeutic. (And if you’re lucky you might get high off the weird cleaner fumes.)
  2. Eat a piece of fruit: Sometimes I forget to eat for a day or so and I feel sick and awful. Then I eat a fruit cup and boom bam, I feel like I can take on the world. Or at least like I can get out of bed for an hour.
  3. Write a list: List making is an underappreciated art form. Make a good list and you will feel less stressed and angry. Just make lists for everything.
  4. Learn something: I always feel better if I feel like I am developing. So google a topic you’re interested about, or read a wiki page about a historical event. It’s a good way to feel productive without having to put in much effort.
  5. Go on a walk: When my counselor used to tell me to go on walks when I got angry I used to think “yea right that doesn’t help.” It does. It really really does. In fact it’s the only anger management technique that has ever worked for me. I’m sure other exercise is helpful to, but walking is very steady which is why I like it.
  6. Buy new underwear/socks/dishes: If something you own is getting old THEN REPLACE IT GODDAMNIT. It will make your life feel more put together and if it’s something you need then don’t put it off.
  7. Hit your pillows not your car: If you need to hit something that’s fine, but do yourself a favor and make it something soft. I can tell you from personal experience, if you punch start a fist fight with a car, you will lose.
  8. Go to the movies alone: It’s a little weird to sit alone in the dark, and stare at a wall for two hours while shoving food in your face—But not in a movie theater it’s not!
  9. Make a meal: Sometimes being a housewife makes you feel like you have your life together. Also eating food is good for you.
  10. Go to bed early: Sleep is seriously important. Get enough sleep.

Crushed

Personal, Writing

So Valentines Day was on Thursday, as I’m sure you were made aware by the thousands of posts of your friends bragging about how great their significant other is and how many Valentines Days they have shared up until this one. It is both the sweetest and most lonely day of the year depending on what your relationship status is.

I for one have always liked Valentines Day. Mostly because my favorite color combination is pink and red, (if you couldn’t tell from this websites theme) but also because I like stationary and any excuse to complain about how sad I am. I could be writing a very negative post about love and how big of a scam it is, but the thing is relationships are work and I think it’s good that there is a day where people can share the amount of work they put into being with another human. Due to my lack of hostility towards the holiday, I have decided to share with you a few stories about crushes I’ve had from childhood up until now. Please prepare for second hand embarrassment. I’ve changed these boys’ names for the sake of their privacy.

Fifth Grade: I’m sure I had crushes before this one, but this is the first one I have any real memory of. Let me set the scene. Fifth grade Avery was the kind of kid who cried when she forgot her homework, and volunteered to read out loud in class. I wore hot pink on an almost daily basis and pretty much thought I was the shit. I’m sure this was due to constantly being told I was “gifted” by my teachers I was a quiet kid and generally avoided other kids besides my group of close friends. I remember the day he walked into our class. He was a new student and I thought he was beautiful. Looking back on it, that was probably just because he wasn’t one of the boys I had known since Kindergarten. He was also Hispanic which was only the second highest minority in our school. He was special. We’ll call him Anthony. Anthony got sat next to me because he would never shut up, so my teacher decided to put him at the shy kid’s table. I also think my teacher knew I had a crush on him. I was never good at being subtle. Nothing ever happened between us because he was dating one of the more popular girls in our class. I remember the pain I felt when I saw him holding her hand at recess. I thought she was much more mature than I was because she was allowed to wear spaghetti strap tank tops. He moved away when we started middle school and I never saw him again. Well, until my friend sent me an article with his mugshot saying he was going to jail for robbing a casino… I did always like the bad boys. I talked to another boy that I went to elementary school with a while back that visits him, and he says he’s doing alright.

Eight Grade: Literally the worst year for teenagers going through puberty. I was heavily into “the theatre” at this point in my life. I was still riding that smart kid wave, and was just starting to realize maybe wearing gummy bear earrings wasn’t cool. I had a crush on this boy named Max. I’ll use his real name because we became actual friends after all this and I know he won’t care. Nobody is cool in eighth grade okay! He was a huge nerd, but we were in a play together and he was just the first non-gay boy to talk to me, which my brain equated to him being the cutest thing ever. I think he somehow got talked into liking me back and he asked me out on a date. We went and saw the Hunger Games (how 2011 of us) and my parents had to drive us. My sister and her friends sat right behind us and he left in the middle of it to answer a call from our other friend. We held very clammy hands and his parents dropped me off. Still the only actual first date I ever went on. Scarred me for life apparently. After that I stopped talking to him at school because I was too shy and two weeks later, we tragically broke up. I cringe every time I think about it. Two years later he told me he never liked me at all and started dating one of my best friends probably a year after that. Now our only real connection is that we probably speak the same level of French. He turned out good I think. His girlfriend now is very pretty and nice, and I think they live in Seattle or something.

Ninth Grade: Get ready for the cringiest story of all. I was a freshman in high school, developing a serious mental disorder, and had maybe two friends total. I had lost the gummy bear earrings but was still decidedly weird to most other students. I was paired up with a boy in French class, (that Max was also in) we’ll call him…Billy. Billy was probably as tall as me and I was only 5′ tall at the time. He was a wrestler, very disruptive in class, and also always grumpy because he couldn’t eat in order to stay in his weight class or something. DEFINITELY NOT MY TYPE but I didn’t have a type then (or standards apparently) so I decided I liked him. Our first ever winter formal was coming up and it was also a TWERP so the girls had to ask the guys. I was much too shy to ask him but my extroverted theater friend wasn’t! So she walked up to him at lunch and said, “If Avery asked you to formal would you go with her?” and I kid you not, he said “ew, no.” Then I had to go to French right after and pretend I didn’t know she asked him and that my heart was not shattered. I didn’t go to the formal…or any school dance ever. Except some alternative dance that took place in a kid’s parent’s airplane hanger, and now that I think about it I’m pretty sure I went to that with Max and his then girlfriend. Billings is a small town okay.

Tenth Grade: This crush was probably the defining crush for my current (horrible) taste in men which is the only reason I’m including it. We’ll call him David. He was and still is the prettiest boy I’ve ever seen. He was endearing and charming. He was also really nice to me which I appreciated and at this point in my life really needed. I would see him everyday at lunch with our mutual friends and then again when I walked home past the smoking alley. I was completely sober then and he had been addicted to drugs for years. He really liked Futurama, Kid Cudi, and he held a sadness inside him that a lot of people never saw. I was pretty open about the fact that I hated my life at this point, so I saw right past it but I think a lot of people never saw how bad he was getting. I only knew him for a year before he disappeared. I found out later that he had ended up in rehab and was completely clean. He showed up at a Halloween party, I was having years later, and he seemed really good. I think he lives in the mountains now with a dog.

There you go, those are four of my most memorable crushes. Of course there are way more, and I only talked about one of my actual boyfriends but these are the ones that make me laugh when I think about them. It’s strange how much people change and how many times they pop up in your life without you even thinking of it. Happy Valentines Day.

Playlist: Super Love

playlists

Here’s some songs for your little lovesick heart. As always available on my Spotify: Avery Jam

  1. Valentine – 5 Seconds Of Summer
  2. Just Like Heaven – The Cure
  3. Rapt – Karen O
  4. Too Young To Be In Love – Hunx & His Punx
  5. Sleep On The Floor – The Lumineers
  6. Beautiful Baby – Emily Brown
  7. From Eden – Hozier
  8. The House That Heaven Built – Japandroids
  9. Milk Duds – Lady Lamb
  10. A Teenager In Love – The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart
  11. Want You Back – Haim
  12. Now – Quinlyn
  13. Arms Around You – XXXTENTACION, Lil Pump, Swae Lee
  14. Lovin’ Is Bible – The Aces
  15. Blu – Mura Masa

February tbr

bookish, Writing
Books to read this month.

Hello and welcome to February. That’s right folks it just keeps going. Time. It’s crazy. Anyway this is a tbr for the the month of February. We have some more actual books this month (as opposed to graphic novels and manga) so get ready. Okay here we go.

  1. The Knife Of Never Letting Go – Patrick Ness: I’ve started this one and so far I’m really enjoying it so far. I read “A Monster Calls” by Ness when I was younger and really loved it so I decided to try this series. I am usually very hesitant when it comes to series’ because they are a commitment and I am even more hesitant when it comes to YA, so this book was a risk for me and so far, I am not regretting it. It’s also supposed to come out as a movie next month so that’s some convenient timing on my part.

2. Snot Girl: California Screaming – Bryan Lee O’malley and Leslie Hung: YEA VOLUME 2! I said less Graphic Novels, but we both know I need at least one graphic novel. I love this story so much and the art is amazing. I can’t wait to find out what happens next in this series.

3. I’ll Be Gone In The Dark – Michelle McNamara: I AM SO EXCITED TO READ THIS BOOK. I have heard so much about it from My Favorite Murder and various booktubers. I plan to read this one while visiting home next week. I also plan on making this the review of the month.

4. Soppy – Phillippa Rice: Hooray! seasonal pick! I felt bad reading so many books about murder and the apocalypse this month considering it’s Valentine’s Day in fourteen days, so I threw in this little book of joy to round it out. This barely counts because there are so few words, but I’m counting it so there. Happy Valentine’s Day bitches!

5. Love Poems – Pablo Neruda: I bought this little book because it was adorable and once again, if a book is a light shade of pink then there is a 90% chance I will buy it. I like that it’s pocket sized and I also like that it has both the translated poem, and the original Spanish version, because I can’t read Spanish but I sure do like to look at it.

6. Sad Girls – Lang Leav: My last pick for the month is another victim of my weird obsession with buying books just for their covers. This serious problem means that I don’t really know what it’s about but I’m sad and a girl so I’m hopeful. I’ve heard mixed reviews so we’ll see.

Those are the books I’m reading this month! what are you reading this month??? If you have any interest in joining a book club, contact me on my Instagram @avejam_

January Wrap-Up

bookish, Writing

Hello! and welcome to my January reading wrap-up! I am proud to say that I finished all of the books on my January tbr. Thanks insomnia! Here are my final ratings and thoughts on the books I read this month.

  1. Killing and Dying – Adrian Tomine: I already spoke about this one in the tbr because I had already read it and I stick with that initial review. I loved the drawings, loved the story line, my only complaint was that it was so short. I gave it 4 out of 5 stars on Goodreads.

⭐⭐⭐⭐✩

   2. Saga Volume 1 – Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples: I figured I was going to like this one and I definitely did. I read it in one night, so it’s definitely a quick read. The illustrations are beautiful and the story is great. The world however is built very quickly so if you like a slow burn this is not it. It is very much a “jump in and figure out the logistics later” kind of book. Once again 4 out of 5 stars.

     ⭐⭐⭐⭐✩

3. Fresh Complaint – Jeffrey Eugenides: To read my review of Fresh Complaint click here! My first 5 out of 5 stars this year.

        ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

4. Deadman Wonderland – Jinsei Kataoka and Kazuma Kondou: I knew I would like this. In fact I loved it. Everyone always wants to bitch at me about how manga isn’t really reading, well you can shove it because this book is great and it never won’t be. I bought the second one so you have that to look forward to. 5 out of 5 stars.

           ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

5. Not In Kansas Anymore – Christine Wicker: This book was good. It made some really thought provoking points about religion and spirituality and I especially liked the anecdotes throughout. However there were so many subject wound into one that it all felt a little convoluted. I would have rather read a shorter book on one subject than this compilation of way too many. If the book would have just been about Wicca or Hoodoo I would have loved it, but I could do without the faeries and furries. Plus the whole thing reads kind of like a 1950’s crime novel. It’s very reporter/detectiveish? (If that makes any sense.) Whatever it’s called it’s distracting and definitely took some getting used to. I gave this one my lowest rating of the year so far, 3 out of 5 stars.

          ⭐⭐⭐✩✩

That’s 5 books done for the year! No ratings under three yet so things are looking good. I’m very excited for next month’s books, so check back friday for a new tbr! What did you read this month?

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/65373656-avery-jam

Support me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/averyjamcom

Coffee Convo

Writing

Hello all, It’s been awhile since I did one of these coffee conversations and I have a lot to update you on so get yourself some coffee (or whatever beverage you want I guess) and settle in.

Today’s coffee convo is a little different because I normally write these in a cute little coffee shop that I can describe to you, today however I am sipping a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and writing this on my phone in a car repair place. I feel like this change is a pretty accurate representation of my life right now. I feel very much like I’m faking it.

In this first month of 2019, I have been sick 3 times, been laid off from my job, struggled to find a new job, withdrew from second semester of my sophomore year of college, and as of today apparently broke my car again. Oh and the heat in my apartment has been broken for half the month. If my landlord is reading this; FUCKING EMAIL ME BACK.

Yea, so not an ideal start to the year. I can’t say I’m surprised because this is pretty typical in my life. It’s always half a step forward and five hundred steps back. It’s not like I went into the year expecting anything glorious to happen but I was at least hoping to keep my job.

Part of the reason getting a job is so hard for me is because I hate calling people on the phone. Answering the phone I have no problem with but for some reason every time I need to call someone to check if they call my application my body decides I also need to start crying profusely for no goddamn reason. Being a crybaby is so damn inconvenient sometimes.

I’m also even more of a crybaby when I don’t get enough sleep which these days is everyday because my insomnia has hit me hard this month. This is great for my reading goal! But not so great for everything else…or the crying. Definitely not good for the crying.

I grouped quitting school for the semester with all the bad stuff but it’s not really that bad. There was no classes that I wanted to take available online so I decided to save the money and work for a semester while I decide whether or not I want to transfer to school in Colorado.

Vampire Weekend released new music for the first time in five years yesterday. In the song “Harmony Hall” there’s the lyric “but every time a problem ends another one begins” and I feel like that really sums up life. I also heard this lyric right after talking to my dad about how life is about problem solving and how problems never stop coming you just get better at solving them. He also said you either solve the problems or you spend your life hiding in a sad corner. That reminded me of another lyric that is in Harmony Hall and is a lyric Vampire Weekend has used in the past which is “I don’t want to live like this but I don’t want to die.” I very strongly believe in signs from the universe (which I know is confusing since I’m an atheist) and this whole prophetic song thing seemed like a sign that stuff will be alright. Or at least I will be after it all. That or my dad and Ezra Koenig are the same person. I would say both options are equally likely.

Either way I was just told there is nothing wrong with my car, and the oil change guys were just dumb. So there’s that problem taken care of, now to wait for the next.

Why Manifest Is BS

Opinion, Writing

Hello everyone, resident negative attitude here to give you some truth. Having a negative attitude has been one of my defining characteristics for quite a while now. I personally, think I have a fairly realistic attitude and just choose to prepare for disappointment instead of excitement. Either way people comment on how depressing my world view is all the time and I think that’s some BS.

Mostly I hear things about how maybe if I thought positively, I would be happier, or if I have a positive attitude life will go my way. These statements are examples of a little thing called manifestation. The old “if you think it will be, it will be.” Well guess what. It won’t. Do you know how many times I’ve thought, “god I wish I could get hit by a bus right now.” I’ll tell you. It’s a lot. I’ll also tell you that it has never happened because I wanted it to, (I still hold out hope everyday though.) Let me elaborate.

There’s a horrifyingly pretentious website called Medium where a bunch of rich kids publish blog content no one really cares about. It’s kind of like Tumblr, but every user can afford to be vegan, and no one is twelve. When looking for more exact definitions on manifestation for this blog post, I stumbled on a Medium user called Thrive Global, that posted an article titled “9 Principles of Conscious Manifestation.” The article is written by someone who claims to be a life coach (which is very on brand for Medium users) and starts out with a great picture of a child feeding a giant giraffe over the edge of a cliff and the line “How to become great at manifesting your dreams.”

To summarize the article the first 8 principles are just “know what you want in life” but given to you 8 different ways. That’s not a principle people that’s a given. If you set a goal you’re going to probably work towards the goddamn goal. It’s written as if you come up with something you want and then it appears. Except it doesn’t, you just consciously acknowledged what you wanted so now subconsciously or not your working towards that goal.

The 9th principle is “Be As Clear As A Laser beam.” Yep that’s exactly what it says. Essentially she is just telling you that if you focus on one specific thing you want you’ll get it. Except she phrases it like you are going to receive a miracle from the universe.

So back to my bus metaphor: If you subscribe to this specific “manifestation” belief then I think about how badly I want to get hit by a bus, and the universe gives me a bus to get hit by. In actuality I think about how badly I want to get hit by a bus, and my brain now actively works toward finding a bus for me to get hit by. The universe didn’t do jack shit. I set a goal and worked towards it and then obtained the goal. It’s not some new spiritual practice that will give you everything in life it’s just dedication.

Contrary to popular belief, you don’t need to be a super positive thinker to have dedication, you just need to know how to get what you want. If you can think positively great! Congratulations! Personally if I think positively I feel like a faker and then I feel discouraged and then I don’t do what needs to be done. Where as if I think the way my brain naturally thinks, I actively take steps to get less negative results. I’m not condoning negativity but can we stop acting like negative people can’t get things they want in life just because their brain works differently than yours. Whatever your original mindset is you can still take steps towards reaching your goals, and if you don’t have a positive attitude, I promise the universe will not punish you. The universe doesn’t give you what you want in life, you do.

I wholeheartedly believe that if you set goals and work towards them then you can get anything you want, but marketing positive thinking as a way to have things handed to you is some privileged bullshit.

If you want to see that giant giraffe picture: 9 principles of conscious manifestation

And here’s a link to a great video made by my friend, if you are interested in how manifestation really works: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKWsC5l0a_Y&t=44s

Playlist: New Year Same Me

playlists

The monthly playlist is here and it’s filled with songs about how nothing really changes, and that might be okay. As always the playlist of the month can be found on my Spotify: Avery Jam.

  1. The New Year – Death Cab For Cutie
  2. By Myself – FIDLAR
  3. Yer Killin’ Me – Remo Drive
  4. Don’t Dream It’s Over – Crowded House
  5. Kids – PUP
  6. Tubthumping – Chumbawamba (“A song once said I get knocked down but I get up again, so there’s that..” – a probably inaccurate quote from my mom)
  7. Blu – Mura Masa
  8. Figuring It Out – SWMRS
  9. Adderall – Max Frost
  10. We All Get Lonely – Trampled By Turtles
  11. Offer An End – Cloud Nothings
  12. This House Is A Circus – Arctic Monkeys
  13. Just Another Day – Oingo Boingo
  14. 4L – 21 Savage
  15. whoa (mind in awe) – XXXTENTACION

Fresh Complaint Review

Writing

It’s a new year and we’re posting regularly now people (and yes I do mean for more than 1 month this time). I mentioned in my tbr for January, that I would write a review for Fresh Complaint and I am delivering (for once).

Let’s be honest we already knew I was going to like this book. If I haven’t already said it enough, I really love Jeffrey Eugenides. However, I did not think I was going to like this book THIS much. I always either love or hate short story compilations, because an author either can get their point across in twenty some pages or they can’t. Eugenides definitely can. His ability to make a reader care so deeply about a character that they’ve known for such a short time is amazing.

Another thing I really liked about this book was how the stories were all from different points of Eugenides career, but still managed to connect with each other to make a cohesive collection. The thing that ties all these stories together is Eugenides tactic of making the ordinary extraordinary. As with his novels, each short story takes a situation that one would regularly consider average and dives into the depths of emotion that make that situation unique and almost unbearably human.

My favorite story from the collection was “Great Experiment.” Originally published in the New Yorker in 2008, the story follows an editor at a independent publishing company, who through the coercion of a coworker and his own financial struggles, turns to a life of embezzlement and fraud. Not only is the story line captivating but the characters are also so multi-dimensional. You don’t feel like you’re reading about a criminal, you feel like you’re reading about a person who was just pushed a little too far by America’s economic system. I’ll keep this review spoiler free- but the ending of this story makes your stomach twist.

There wasn’t a single story I didn’t like in this collection but my other favorites included, “Complainers,” and “Find The Bad Guy.” “Capricious Gardens,” stood out to me as well because of how eloquently multiple perspectives were given, in such a short story. One of my favorite lines comes at the end of “Complainers,” when Cathy is describing advice she was given by a friend: “Pay no attention to the terrors that visit you in the night. The psyche is at its lowest ebb then, unable to defend itself. The desolation that envelops you feels like truth, but isn’t. It’s just mental fatigue masquerading as insight.” This quote has brought me a lot of comfort this month.

Of course this review wouldn’t be complete without discussing the title story “Fresh Complaint.” this story revolves around a girl who stages a “rape” in order to get out of an arranged marriage. From the get go I was very nervous and thought this story was going to ruin the book for me. Obviously, with so many women in the real world who are finally able to come forward with their experiences, the last thing we need is a story justifying why women’s experiences could be fake. This story however is not that. It is a heart wrenching story about people stuck in situations life has forced upon them, and how you get yourself out of the holes you’ve dug yourself into. The woman is never portrayed as a villain in this story, she is portrayed as a good person who believes she has no choice, likewise the man in the story is never portrayed as a victim, he is a very flawed character who understands that he put himself in his situation. There’s no “he said she said” it’s just a story about two people who both realize through this experience that they need to be better people. It was very tastefully done, and wrapped up all the themes of the stories in one, giving the book great closure.

Overall I gave this book 5/5 stars on Goodreads, which makes me excited to see what other great reads I find in 2019. Make sure to add me on Goodreads if you want to keep up with my reading and feel free to tell me what you’re reading this month!

2018: In Review

Non-fiction, Personal, Writing

I began my 2018 alone, in my room drinking sparkling cider and wearing my ex-boyfriend’s shirt. I rang in the new year binge watching Netflix (and probably crying, lets be real). My whole year continued much like this first night, lonely. Despite this ever present feeling of solitude, I made more friends than ever in 2018. I’m not big on resolutions, but as we begin this year, I though it would be nice to take a look back at some highlights from last year.

NYE 2017

January: I spent most of the first month with my second family, aka my best friend and her son, until school began to take up most of my time. I also participated in the Billing’s Women’s March alongside my sister. I got my thigh tattoo finished and I also spent an excessive amount of time in my friends dorm room that month bleaching his hair.

February: That month was a dull one, I completely stopped talking to someone who was toxic for me at the time, so I remember concentrating a lot on school. I spent a lot of time in my friends dorm room, just as an excuse to be out of my house. I finally got around to watching “Get Out” on one of many movie nights. 3/5 stars, because I guessed the twist way before it happened.

March: Made grape soda floats. Spent every night with my friend Red Willow. Dyed my hair blonde.

April: At the beginning of April, my mom, Maisy, and I took a trip down to Florida which was much needed. April also marked the opening of my favorite brunch place in Billings, Sassy Biscuit.

May: May was quite the month. I finished my first year of college! I spent the first half of the month at a lot of backyard parties, and drinking a lot of vodka lemonade. Then I got a pay cut at my job so I drank more vodka lemonade but without the lemonade this time. I impulsively got band-aids tattooed on my knees (no regrets). May also marks the month I met my dear friends Ashton and Teanna.

I get my knee tats.

June: I turned 20! and spent it making sure my adult friends child went to bed because her mom was passed out drunk on the couch.

My friend Leilahni in June.

July: dyed my hair green and ate a lot of brunch. I also took a spontaneous road trip to Bozeman with Ashton and Teanna.

August: Took a road trip to Colorado to find a place to live/work. We found neither but moved anyway. My dad gave me a tattoo. I had my going away party and said goodbye to all my friends. I also left my job at Dillard’s that month.

September: Officially moved for the first time in my life, from Montana to Colorado. Wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but I did learn that I have too much stuff. I also saw 5 Seconds Of Summer that month which was amazing.

October: My car broke down, I ran out of money and my life broke down. October was the worst month of 2018 but we coped. I still dressed up for Halloween and I still carved my yearly pumpkin.

squad gourds

November: Learned how to french braid, learned how to cook, and had the chillest thanksgiving I’ve ever had. I worked Black Friday at Target and made some more friends.

December: Took a trip to visit my favorite cult members in Boulder Colorado. I also checked out a really cool bookstore while I was there. I spent the rest of the month working, and basically forgot about Christmas. My roommate’s mom brought us down a Christmas tree and some furniture, as well as gifts from my family. I learned how to make homemade orange rolls, and spent Christmas, cooking with my roommate.

And that was my year. I hope you enjoyed this little look at my life. It wasn’t a bad year, but I wouldn’t say it was a good one either. I am mostly glad for the people that came into my life this year and I hope they stay through the next one. My New Year’s Eve this year was spent watching this shitty Youtube live stream of the ball drop, with my roommate. It’s so dumb how a single minute makes you feel like your whole life is resetting. I wasn’t different in that minute. I was still high af and I was still drinking Martinelli’s sparkling cider.

One last thing: I have launched a Patreon! So if you want to support my writing (and another special project.) Go check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/averyjamcom