April 2019: Rebirth

playlists

Here’s a new playlist for you all. Be reborn…just like Jesus.

  1. Bad Reputation – Joan Jett & The Blackhearts
  2. Sunflower – Vampire Weekend and Steve Lacy
  3. Closure – PUP
  4. Die Young – Sylvan Esso
  5. Baton vanille – Phanee de Pool
  6. In Bloom – Nirvana
  7. Where’s The Catch? – James Blake and Andre 3000
  8. 100 Bad Days – AJR
  9. The Record Player Song – Daisy The Great
  10. This Life – Vampire Weekend
  11. Morbid Stuff – PUP
  12. Walking On Air – Kerli
  13. You Yes You – Tune-Yards
  14. The Glow – Sylvan Esso
  15. Begin Again – Dispatch

Like always, playlist is available on my Spotify.

Chaos Walking Trilogy Review

bookish

Head’s up everyone! This review contains a lot of spoilers for the “Chaos Walking” trilogy! So if you want to avoid that, click off this page now!

The last time I read a series, it was adult fantasy and was also one of my all time favorite series, the “Shades Of Magic” trilogy by V.E. Schwab. I can’t even tell you what the last YA series I read was. It was probably “To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before” or something. I have read so many YA apocalypse/distopia that I hated, that I’m not even sure what made me pick up Patrick Ness’s “The Knife Of Never Letting Go” in the first place. I am however very thankful that I did.

When I read the synopsis, I was feeling pretty “meh” about this one. The first book follows “almost a man,” Todd Hewitt as he escapes his hometown on New Earth, a planet that humanity escaped to once the o.g. earth’s end was inevitable, where everyone can hear each other’s thoughts and there are no women. He runs into a girl along his way named Viola Davis who crashed in a scout spaceship from a new group of settlers from the old planet earth. They end up running together, and adventure ensues as the two escape a crazy preacher, and an army. This plot develops into what becomes a civil war in the second book, and a global war in the third. I thought it seemed like a lot, but having read Ness’s “A Monster Calls,” I was hopeful.

Out of all three I think the second book was my favorite. The addition of Viola’s perspective made for an intriguing dynamic and a break from Todd’s hick dialect. I also really enjoyed the first one. The third one I could give or take, it was still well developed and entertaining but I also thing this series would have been just as powerful as a duology. In “A Monster Calls,” I was amazed by Ness’s use of metaphor, which is also found in the “Chaos Walking” trilogy. I also was impressed by Ness’s powerful character development, practicality, and themes. The development of Todd and Viola throughout the series is a big one because they are right at that young teen age where they essentially go from being children to being adults. Todd and Viola’s growth from everything they know being wrong, is enthralling and also very accurate to real life despite being on a more severe scale. I also appreciated the attention to the fact that people should not be comfortable with killing other people! I feel like a lot of times in the dystopian genre particularly. (*cough*, “The Hunger Games,” *cough*) people are murdering people and then just not having any emotions about it at all. I don’t care if they had to do it to survive, or whatever, they should still feel some residual guilt or mental turmoil over it, ESPECIALLY when they’re not doing it of their own free will. If they don’t feel torn up after that, then they’re just a straight up sociopath (*cough*, Katniss, *cough*, Everdeen, *cough*.) But I digress.

In “Chaos Walking” almost all the characters are constantly questioning where they stand morally and I appreciate that greatly. I also appreciated the awareness Todd had of his own masculinity and the fact that he had to keep it in check. For once toxic masculinity did not ruin the party because for once a straight male character was raised by two gay men and not a total piece of shit. (I mean toxic masculinity ruined the party for every other character in the book, but still.) This brings me to another thing that I really liked about this book. I went through the first two books thinking “wow, I can’t believe that he’s never going to mention that Todd’s guardians Ben and Cillian are totally gay for each other and that’s why they were able to save Todd from the toxic masculinity of this town.” Then in the third book, HE DID. And it wasn’t a big deal. It was never a secret from anyone because they can all see each other’s thoughts, they just never mentioned it because no one in this whole society thought it was a problem, and I think that is an amazing choice on Patrick Ness’s part. The whole book is so solely focused on the divide between men and woman and our two main characters are so starkly different in their thoughts on gender from the rest of the world that it’s impossible to miss the point that is being made.

A lot of other issues with gender are brought up with the pretty much genderless race of aliens. It is made clear from very early on that they are much more united than the humans, thinking as one entity instead of individuals. Thankfully it is also seen that lack of individualism in a society can cause problems of it’s own, when half of the race is left behind in slavery. Ness really covers all his bases. Overall, this trilogy is the greatest depiction of very real societal flaws that I have ever seen in a YA book. Which is crazy, because you would think books catered to youth would want to provide some kind of thought on their world. I think a lot do, and that it just ends up buried under a pile of flaming love triangles.

In the end I gave them all 4 out of 5 stars because they did of course all still have YA aspects to them. That flaw is completely based on personal preference, and I think if I had read it back when I was 12 or 13 it would have been put on the favorites shelf. The only plot aspect I really didn’t like was the whole power of love thing Todd and Viola had. It was fine in the more adult relationships, like Ben and Cillian. Todd and Viola’s relationship however, especially in the first two books, seemed very juvenile, so I had to suspend some disbelief there. I also was left with some questions at the end of it all, like: “What about Todd’s dad?” or “What happened to the Mayor’s wife?” or “Can I have a whole spin off series about what happened to that human/alien couple from the short story at the end of book two?” Other than that I thought this series was amazing. For anyone who read the book that wants to know, my favorite character was absolutely Davey Prentiss who is being played by FUCKING NICK JONAS in the upcoming film so I cannot wait to see my sweet baby boy come to life.

I hope you all enjoyed this, kind of all over the place, review. This month is going to be pretty heavy on reviews of movies and books, so if you like these kinds of posts make sure to sign up for email notifications! Now get off the internet and go read this trilogy!

April 2019 TBR

bookish

It’s the fourth and I haven’t posted a TBR yet?? Well don’t worry because here it is. It’s a big boy, and I am almost certain I won’t finish it but we’re going to give it the good old college try. Also I will be posting three times this week so check back for a series review on Saturday. Posting will continue regularly on Mondays and Fridays next week. Okay! Let’s get into the books!

This isn’t even all of them.
  1. Envelope Poems – Emily Dickinson: This month had a ton of large novels, and literary fiction so I needed to pick a couple palette cleansers. I love Emily Dickinson’s poetry and I have had this compilation for years so I think I should get around to reading it.

2. This Is Not The End – Chandler Baker: You guys, I. Have. A. Problem. This is yet another book that I bought for the cover, which is ridiculous because this doesn’t even seem like a book I’d like! It’s YA and the author’s name isn’t capitalized on the cover which bugs the living fuck out of me. I have very low expectations for this one so maybe I’ll be pleasantly surprised.

3. Bloom – Kevin Panetta and Savanna Ganucheau: It’s another graphic novel! It’s about gay boys! That make bread! What’s not to love! There’s something about monochromatic illustration that just gets me every time. This one will hopefully be another quickie.

4. Looker – Laura Sims: This has been on my list of new releases to read since the beginning of the year. It’s a suspense/mystery novella with an awesome cover. It’s also Laura Sims debut work so I am pumped.

5. Clever Girl – Tessa Hadley: Another book without capital letters on the cover! I picked this one up at the Boulder Bookstore because…I liked the cover! (shocking I know.) It’s a contemporary set in the UK.

6. Lullaby – Chuck Palahniuk: A few years ago, I inherited my ex-boyfriend’s Chuck Palahniuk collection, and I have two left. I’ve decided to torture myself and read them both in one month! Hopefully, these are two of his less fucked up books.

7. Invisible Monsters – Chuck Palahniuk: Here’s the second one! I have this one on audio book from my library so I’ll probably end up listening to it.

8. A Tree Grows In Brooklyn – Betty Smith: This month’s bookclub book! If you are interested in reading with us this month, message me on instagram @avejam_ !

9. The Sun Is Also A Star – Nicola Yoon: I read Everything Everything a couple years ago, and since this one is being made into a movie next month, I decided to read it. I don’t think I’ll like this one too much, but it’s an easy read so I kind of need it this month.

10: Where The Crawdads Sing – Delia Owens: This was not originally on my TBR at all but just today a volunteer at work gave it to me, after telling me how great it was, so I’m throwing it on the list!

And that is my April TBR! I know it’s excessive, but I did finish nine books last month so I have faith in myself. What are you guys reading this month?

March 2019 Wrap Up

bookish, Writing

Hello all! Sorry that I did such a crap job posting this month. I started a new job which took up a large portion of my time, and I haven’t been feeling great lately. I did however want to give you an update on what I read this month! If you read my tbr for this month, then you know that I planned to read nine whole books…and I did! I genuinely did not think I would get through them all but I did, and here’s what I thought of them

Deadman Wonderland Volume Two – Jinsei Kataoka and Kazuma Kondou: As I mentioned in my tbr, I finished this one before the month even started. I always feel weird rating these since they have such little writing, but it is my favorite anime and manga so it of course gets a 5 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

We Are Okay – Nina Lacour: This book broke me and I was not prepared for it. I was very hesitant while reading this because l felt so deeply for Marin and her denial and loneliness. I felt like I was reading someone else’s description of myself. The ending had me sobbing. Such a hopeful and true testament to grief, pain, and taking steps to overcome it. I think if I had read this book at an earlier point in life I would have liked it but not considered it a new favorite however at this point in my life this was a book I needed. We are okay.  5 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The Ask and the Answer and Monsters Of Men – Patrick Ness: There will be a full trilogy review of these and The Knife of Never Letting Go up on Friday so check that out if you’re curious! I gave them both 4 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐✩
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Circe – Madeline Miller: Okay, so I actually have a tiny bit of this left still but I wanted to get this up tonight. This book from what I’ve read is really good. It spans over thousands of years which is something I always like in books and it also centers around probably my favorite character in Greek mythology. A slightly preemptive 4 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐✩

Tweak – Nic Sheff: Nic Sheff is a very powerful person and writer. Honestly if the writing hadn’t been so eloquent and moving I don’t think I would have made it through the book. It’s depressing as hell. And as a person who has a bit of a drug dependency and a hell of a lot of trauma it brought up a lot of shit for me. This is a moving look into living with addiction. I gave it 3 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐✩✩

Beautiful Boy – David Sheff: Overall I thought this book was good. I listened to the audiobook which had a horrible narrator but the story was good. This one is much more chronological than tweak so it’s a little easier to follow but it’s not as grungy and powerful as Nic’s. It mostly made me feel bad for my parents. I hope I don’t make them feel this way. 3 out of 5 stars as well.

⭐⭐⭐✩✩

On A Sunbeam – Tillie Walden: This book was gorgeous. There were a lot of plot elements that I would have liked to know more about, but honestly the illustrations make the story not even matter. Absolutely beautiful. We love space lesbians. 4 out of 5 stars.

⭐⭐⭐⭐✩

Call Me By Your Name – Andre Aciman: A very strong yet realistic novel about passion and caring for another. The ending gave the whole book so much more meaning than it originally held at face value. 4 out of 5 stars.

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The Good and Evil of Makeup

Opinion, Writing

I remember the first day I was allowed to wear makeup. A day I had been waiting for, for what felt like so long. The day my mom would take me to Target, and help me pick out products to wear on the first day of seventh grade. I was more than excited, I was obsessive. Something about makeup had always appealed to me, and I remember being a little disappointed with all the neutral colors found at the drug store. I wanted bright colors, blues and pinks that I found in the Claire’s palette that I bought that same year. It was like a whole new world. That world only got bigger when I set up a Youtube account and began to watch people like, Zoella, Tanya Burr, and Bethany Mota. I remember making my mom drive me to the store so I could pick up a red lipstick that one of these Youtubers recommended for the fall season. I also remember my mom getting a lot of bullshit for the way my sister and I presented ourselves. We wore tiger tales and panda bear ears, with neon colors and bright lipstick and our freedom to look how we wanted to was often seen as irresponsible parenting. I think the opposite, because no matter how me and me sister ended up doing our makeup we never once did it to look pretty or attractive. We were raised to see fashion and cosmetics as an act of expression not an act of necessity, something that is often put to the side in the current world of cosmetics.

Having worked in cosmetics for one year and retail for six, I have had a really up close look at the modern consumer, as well as the companies that cater to them. With cosmetics it always starts with a problem. Someone doesn’t like something about their face and they need it fixed. This has always been funny to me because the people that work in cosmetics have the exact opposite mindset. Makeup can’t fix anything, only enhance what’s already there. We would know because we’ve tried almost every product out there. I’ve seen it all, from hickies covering a person’s entire neck to a bruise covering half of a woman’s face. For my friends and I makeup has always been more of an art form than a part of our daily routine, mostly because if I was to put the amount of effort I put into an Instagram look into my everyday I would be looking at tacking an extra two hours onto my morning routine. Ew. Who wants that.

If the rest of the world would get on the same page that makeup artists are on, society would have a much healthier look on the beauty world. For example, people that have an inner knowledge to this world know that makeup brands are often all owned by one Alpha brand (i.e. L’oreal owns Lancome, YSL, Armani, etc.) so it’s not always worth it to buy every new product that hits the scene. This knowledge means that you can shop for luxury products in a much smarter way than the average consumer.

Doing people’s makeup has always been a positive experience for me. Putting someone’s makeup on is an intimate act. You get up close and personal with people’s flaws. I have heard tons of amazing stories while working on people and also seen tons of women gain confidence, thanks to a little concealer or a better skincare routine. It’s something that’s entirely personal. Life is easier when you feel good about the way you look. Which I why I get so angry when I hear the arguments of people that think makeup is stupid.

On a semi daily basis I get the, “Oh why do you put all that stuff on your face?” or “you don’t need that to be pretty.” Thanks for your input, I know, that’s not why I put it on. People immediately assume that if you change something about your physical appearance you are doing it for the people that will be looking at you. I get a lot of comments on my piercings and tattoos as well, and those are all for me. I got them so I could look at them, and so I could be more myself, the same goes for my makeup.

People also assume things about you if you wear a lot of makeup. The number one thing being that you’re not smart. Almost every girl I know that wears a full face of makeup has a high IQ to go along with it, so that is completely false. Makeup is an art form that takes creativity. It is definitely more stimulating than it is mind numbing. Another thing that people often think is that if you wear makeup you have some kind of issue with the way you look. People that wear a lot of makeup…do not put that on their faces all the time. A lot of my coworkers, never wore makeup on our days off because it wasn’t worth the effort, and we didn’t feel the need to cover our faces. We did makeup because we love color, and individuality, and glitter. We like to try new mediums and use our faces as a canvas.

The other day I had a boy tell me I looked ugly without makeup. This comment made me laugh because I know for a fact that I don’t look that different without it. I told him that maybe he should try makeup because his natural face definitely wasn’t working for him either. You wouldn’t walk up to people with freckles and tell them the freckles are too much, so make sure you think next time before you tell a girl she doesn’t need anything on her face, because she most likely never wanted your opinion in the first place.

Playlist: Lucky

playlists, Writing

I was supposed to post this yesterday but recently my life has been overwhelmingly busy, So I was going to get it posted before 5 today…but that clearly didn’t happen either. Lucky for me, playlist posts are the easiest to make. Here’s the March playlist kids:

  1. Third Eye – Florence + The Machine
  2. Die Happy – DREAMERS
  3. Don’t Turn Around – Ace Of Bass
  4. The Promise – When In Rome
  5. Free At Last – PUP
  6. Black Magic Woman – Fleetwood Mac
  7. Lotus Eater – Foster The People
  8. Wolf – First Aid Kit
  9. Longshot – Catfish and the Bottlemen
  10. I Feel It All – Feist
  11. Something Good – alt-J
  12. Mess Me Around – The Babies
  13. Ready To Let Go – Cage The Elephant
  14. Tilted – Christine and the Queens
  15. Almost(Sweet Music) – Hozier

March tbr

bookish, Writing
Some books for March

It’s March people! Which means it’s time for a new tbr. I used January and February as warm up months just to get used to reading again, so I set some smaller goals for myself. Well not this month. I am going back to my elementary school days and although I have set my reading goal for the year at fifty books I am hopeful that I will reach one hundred. I did some math and that means I have to read nine books a month as well as working at my two jobs. So without further ado, here are the nine books I’m reading in March.

Deadman Wonderland Volume Two – Jinsei Kataoka and Kazuma Kondou: This was set to be on March’s tbr but I ended up reading it between my wrap up post and this tbr. Whoops! Oh well, it puts me a little ahead for the month at least.

We Are Okay – Nina Lacour: Introducing another member of the “Ave just bought it for the cover club.” This his been on my shelf for ages. It’s a really small book and I have no idea what it’s about. I’ve only just started it and it seems like it revolves around this girl trying to cope with grief or trauma from something. It’s YA contemporary so my expectations aren’t that high. I’m just hoping it’s a little better than my last, “purchased because it was pretty;” Sad Girls.

The Ask And The Answer – Patrick Ness: I’m wrapping this series up this month so I have the second and third book on my tbr. I’m really excited to finish these

Monsters Of Men – Patrick Ness: See above

Circe – Madeline Miller: Yay! This is March’s Book Club Book! If you don’t know already, my friend Grace and I have started up an internet book club via Instagram. This is our first read ever! I’ve heard a lot of good things about this book, and I used to be really into Greek mythology so I’m sure I’ll like this. If you are interested in joining our book club please get in touch with me on Instagram @avejam_

On A Sunbeam – Tillie Walden: I saw this while browsing at the bookstore awhile back and knew immediately that I needed this book. It’s a THICC graphic novel and I am so excited about it.

Tweak – Nic Sheff: Did you know that the film “Beautiful Boy” starring my favorite boy Timothee Chalamet is actually based on two memoirs? I sure didn’t but I’m glad I found this book at Barnes and Noble because now I do and I plan to read them both before watching the movie. Normally I wouldn’t care that much about reading the book before the movie if it was a memoir but this one is about drug addiction, which I love to read books about, so I figured I’d like it.

Beautiful Boy – David Sheff: Hey! It’s the second memoir! I think I’ll probably like this one less, because it seems less edgy. I think for these I’ll read both at the same time.

Call Me By Your Name – Andre Aciman: Timothee Chalamet more like Timothee chalaMARCH am I right!? Sorry that was bad. I decided to theme my reading because why the fuck not! I haven’t seen Call Me By Your Name yet either and I know it’s a pretty quick read so I decided to make it my ninth read. I’m always down for some good gay romance, lets be real. And Army Hammer in those athletic shorts. Yummy.

February Wrap Up

bookish, Writing

Hello! and welcome to my February reading wrap-up! This month contained some highs and some very low lows as far as reading is concerned. Here are my final ratings and thoughts on the books I read this month.

The Knife Of Never Letting Go – Patrick Ness: This was really good! I love Patrick Ness’s writing and his use of metaphor. I remember reading “A Monster Calls,” as a teenager and just being blown away at the use of literary devices. The themes revolving around toxic masculinity, and loss of innocence are so well portrayed and refreshing to see in a YA post apocalyptic book. This book is very fast paced which I know some people really like, but I would have liked just a teeny bit more character development. Hopefully the second and third book deliver. If I was just judging it with other YA it would for sure be a 5/5. This is beyond amazing for its genre. I can’t wait to read the second one!

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Soppy – Philippa Rice: I just awwwwed the entire time I read this. It is truly precious. I will definitely keep it on my shelf for the rest of my life. 5/5 stars of course.

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 Love Poems – Pablo Neruda: You know, I might just be rating this one out of bitterness. I have never felt passion like that present in this book so I found it mostly annoying. I would like to reread this while I’m in love and see if I think differently. I mean he’s the Nobel Laureate so I really feel wrong for not loving this. Also I know nothing about Spanish but I think the translation was a bit crap?? Any who my favorite poem was “Forget Me.” I would like to read some of his poetry that’s not about love because I have heard really great things. I gave it 3/5 stars.

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 I’ll Be Gone In The Dark – Michelle McNamara: To see my full review click here! Loved this one. 5/5 stars and a new favorite.

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Snotgirl: California Screaming – Bryan Lee O’mally and Leslie Hung: I truly love the characters and the art style so much I almost want to give it 5 stars but the story line really loses me at points. I still can’t wait for the next one.

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 Sad Girls – Lang Leav: Oh man my first low review of the year. SPOILER ALERT on this one because I have a lot to say. I get it okay. The book is supposed to be this huge paradox that makes you question our standard set of morals and whether there are exceptions. But the execution was just. So. Bad. This book is dripping with pretension and had me rolling my eyes once per page. It’s horribly paced and read more like an episode of Pretty Little Liars, than a work of literary fiction. I love the cover of this book and I really wanted to like it, but poets are poets for a reason and Lang Leav should have never dipped her toe into novel writing. Poetry itself is pretentious which is why pretentious people make such good poets. I physically punched the book at least once. The only part I liked was the ending and that’s just because I love when shitty characters just become shittier people instead of better people. Audrey’s fall from Grace would have been a lot more poignant if she had ever been a good person to begin with but she wasn’t, so the meaning gets lost under incredibly poor character development. This was harsh I know, but I gotta call em how I see em.  

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We are now sitting at 11 books for the year with 9 on board for next month, a chunk of which have also been made into movies. Next month also includes the return of book club! If you have any interest in joining please get in contact with me on Instagram @avejam_ . What did you read this month?

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/65373656-avery-jamSupport me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/averyjamcom

I’ll Be Gone In The Dark Review

bookish, Writing

If you remember my tbr from earlier this month, you’ll remember how excited I was to read Michelle McNamara’s book, “I’ll Be Gone In The Dark. Well I have read it and I am back now to review it for you. Let’s get started.

Okay, so before I even opened this book, I already had a huge emotional attachment to it. I had listened to multiple podcasts about the book, and I had also been following the fairly recent capture of “The Golden State Killer,” who was arrested shortly after the publication of “IBGITD” (that’s what I’m going to call it from here on out.) So like I said I had very high hopes. I usually go into my books knowing hardly anything but I went into this one with lots of prior knowledge about the crimes and also the author.

The book is split into three different sections. Part 1: information about the GSK (Golden State Killer), Part 2: Michelle’s experience working on the case, and Part 3: Information from Michelle’s research assistant who helped finish the book after McNamara’s death, an afterword from her husband, and a letter from Michelle to the GSK. This arrangement works well and despite having so many different pieces, flows with surprising ease. I love the fact that they decided not to try to recreate McNamara’s writing style to finish the book because it truly couldn’t have been done. McNamara writes with an emotion and style that is rarely found in true crime. It’s the perfect amount of detail without reading like a report. Her descriptions of California are incredible and she has just the right amount of bluntness in the sections that describe the actual killings. Billy Jensen and Paul Haynes did an incredible job piecing together her research and the parts of the book they had into a complete book of Michelle’s work.

I would not recommend this book if you are at all squeamish about murder. The GSK was a real horror show, and definitely not for the faint of heart. Any gory bits are written with tact and respect but if you are just beginning to delve into true crime, I wouldn’t start with this. It has a novel quality but is packed to the brim with information. The addition of maps, pictures, and a list of the detectives and criminologists that are present throughout the book, make the whole thing a real experience. This book took me the longest to read out of my books this month, and that was mostly because I felt I needed to absorb everything. I annotate all my books but if anyone tries to borrow this one, they might have a hard time reading the book under all my hand scribbled thoughts. I think that’s a sign that a book is good. If it takes up your whole brain.

If you haven’t guessed by now, I gave this book five out of five stars. It has been added to my list of all time favorites. I only had one grievance about the book and that is that it’s not really THE book. The whole time I read, I couldn’t stop asking myself if this was the book Michelle McNamara wanted me to read. I think it is definitely close. It was put together by people that knew her very well, but there was still so many things that she wanted to put in and unfortunately didn’t get to because of her untimely death. I wish she would have been alive to see how well it did, and see him get caught right after her book came out. I admit I teared up at the end when reading the afterword written by her late husband. In it he says she was “quietly, effortlessly, original,” and I think that shows in her writing and in her commitment to finding the GSK.

The GSK was a true monster. As Michelle states in one of my favorite lines, “the act…was arousal alchemized to hate, a vicious punishment meted out by one judge: his corroded brain.” In summary this is a book about a monster written by a hero. She helped so many victims through her work, and helped to solve one of the biggest unsolved cases in America. Although her time with us was short, she achieved more than a lot of people in this world ever will. I think this book is a treasure. It could have been lost to time, forever sitting on a dusty hard drive. I considered reading this a privilege and it is a book I will not soon forget.

If you want to see what I thought of the rest of the books I read this month, make sure to check back on Monday for my February wrap-up post!

More Self Care

Personal, Writing

About two years ago, I made a post with my favorite things to do for self care. That post mostly included fun relaxation things. This is part two of that post but with more practical things, for when it’s not so much “treat yourself” but more “I’m living in a dark hell pit and need to find a way to climb out of it.” (What? No, I’m fine. Things are totally fine over here.)

  1. Clean your space: I know it’s not fun and I know you don’t want to do it, but I guarantee that if you do you will feel much better. I clean my whole apartment once a week. I put on a podcast (usually My Favorite Murder) and just fully absorb myself in scrubbing gunk off the walls. Anyone else ever just walked around their house scrubbing every mark off the wall with those magic eraser sponges? If not you should, it’s incredibly therapeutic. (And if you’re lucky you might get high off the weird cleaner fumes.)
  2. Eat a piece of fruit: Sometimes I forget to eat for a day or so and I feel sick and awful. Then I eat a fruit cup and boom bam, I feel like I can take on the world. Or at least like I can get out of bed for an hour.
  3. Write a list: List making is an underappreciated art form. Make a good list and you will feel less stressed and angry. Just make lists for everything.
  4. Learn something: I always feel better if I feel like I am developing. So google a topic you’re interested about, or read a wiki page about a historical event. It’s a good way to feel productive without having to put in much effort.
  5. Go on a walk: When my counselor used to tell me to go on walks when I got angry I used to think “yea right that doesn’t help.” It does. It really really does. In fact it’s the only anger management technique that has ever worked for me. I’m sure other exercise is helpful to, but walking is very steady which is why I like it.
  6. Buy new underwear/socks/dishes: If something you own is getting old THEN REPLACE IT GODDAMNIT. It will make your life feel more put together and if it’s something you need then don’t put it off.
  7. Hit your pillows not your car: If you need to hit something that’s fine, but do yourself a favor and make it something soft. I can tell you from personal experience, if you punch start a fist fight with a car, you will lose.
  8. Go to the movies alone: It’s a little weird to sit alone in the dark, and stare at a wall for two hours while shoving food in your face—But not in a movie theater it’s not!
  9. Make a meal: Sometimes being a housewife makes you feel like you have your life together. Also eating food is good for you.
  10. Go to bed early: Sleep is seriously important. Get enough sleep.