Sometimes my brain gets too crowded and my thoughts start pouring
out of my ears.
They land on my shoulders and drip down my skin to embed themselves
along my spine.
A thought pressed under my skin to sit against my vertebrae and to grow
Mushrooms crawl up my back nourished by my bone marrow.
Vines crawl over my shoulders to wrap around my ribs.
Thorns stem from my collarbones to make sure no one can get in
to the body garden grown from my thoughts.
The hair on my arms stands on end as it turns into blades of grass.
My fingers sprout dandelions
and forget-me-nots sprout from my toes.
My breasts grow bleeding hearts
and honey drips from my nose.
Bees live here now, and beetles and moths.
They crawl around my stomach lining,
up my throat,
and out my mouth.
My heart slowly turns a tulip bulb and my brain’s a clump of poison ivy.
Ring Around The Bathtub
If you ran your hands down, they would roll along small hills
Bump bump bump bump
The contours of my back bone
Weak, warped, and sharp like knives
Don’t cut yourself on my lethal body
Let the water run down the stretched translucent canvas
Blue lines painted in textured brush strokes
Paint running down the shower drain
Humanity swirling down the shower drain
Clumps of hair clogging the shower drain
Dark spiders plucked out of my skull
Leaving paste white bone showing
Through the hole in my head.
Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk
Beat up sneakers hit the pavement
In an uneven rhythm matching the beat
Flowing through the earbuds
That no one else can hear
Chilled wind painting a blush
Over her freckled face
Kicking rocks across the street
Sleeves pulled down over her hands
Walking into the corner gas station
Going to the very back of the store
And getting the chocolate coffee in a can
Pulls her debit card out of her pack of camels
She takes a cigarette out at the stop light
Cups her hand around her lighter
To keep it safe from the breeze
She inhales deeply
Nicotine fills her lungs
Cigarette smoke clouds her thoughts
The taste of ash sticky on her tongue
Mentally feeling her body rot
She cracks open the can of coffee
And swallows the sweet syrup
Inhaling the caffeine her body runs on
Ashing her cigarette on the ground
Caffeine and nicotine
Cigarettes and chocolate milk.
you’ll never be mine is the hard part.
The absolute sureness that I will never touch your naked back.
Connecting the constellations of freckles along your spine,
The knowledge that I will never hold you
or kiss your tear stained face when you cry.
I’ll never get to see the sun hit your body just right
as your laying next to me with your eyes closed.
Never get to run my fingers through your hair
until it gives me all your secrets.
that sits in my ribs for you nestled right next to my heart.
I hate that my body has learned to accommodate pain
It walks into me and I ask it if it would like a glass of water.
I exhaust myself trying to figure out what it needs
Doing everything I can to keep it from becoming enraged and taking over again
After a full blown facebook investigation
I found your Snapchat and added you.
And you added me back
Your Facebook is depressing
You’re a real sadboi ™
See: that’s an example of the correct use of you’re and your
Which according to Facebook, you don’t understand
But you’re real cute
Even though your teeth are crooked
It’s ok mine have a gap
I want to tell you I’ll be your friend
I want to tell you I think your the most beautiful boy
I want to tell you that it could be worse.
You could be me.
In person I said
“I have annoyingly thick hair but it falls out in clumps from anxiety”
I don’t know why I said it but you said
I want to tell you a lot of things but instead
I just asked if you had to work today.
You haven’t opened my message yet
Satan’s Poster Child
The disgust in your voice when you say the words “cancer stick”
As if you think it can change me.
As if I didn’t already know
The concern in your eyes as you explain the importance of your god
My blank eyes staring back at you
So you can look through and see the hollow soul.
I bet they tried to tell Lucifer how to live too
Your help is judgement
Making me fall farther from your heaven
Satan’s poster child.
Heaving through hell and back
Long black nails curling around your throat
If you tell me one more time
I’m gonna die young
I already fucking know that and I wish it would happen today
So please climb up on your precious pedestal
I’m fine in fire
Sitting on my throne of cigarette cartons and bic lighters
Onyx horns protruding from my skull
Dressed in ash and lingerie
Making you all uncomfortable as I
Cry freely for no goddamn reason.